BEAT party fear FOR GOOD

Does small talk at the buffet and mingling on the dance floor fill you with dread? Samantha Wood uncovers the strategies to help address social angst

-  Samantha Wood

Do you remember Christmas during lockdown, when we were all told to stay at home? Well, despite the obvious horror of a life-threatening virus sweeping the globe, I secretly enjoyed it. There was zero anxiety about the amount of parties, festive lunches and rolling buffets I'd be expected to go to, because there were zero social events happening and therefore no guilt over those last-minute 'I'm so sorry, I don't think I'm going to be able to make it' texts that I'd usually end up sending.

I have memories of watching Strictly and messaging a friend saying, 'Is it wrong that I'm loving not having to mix with other people?' with her immediately replying, 'Me too!' But it's not just me and my friends who are total Grinches. According to the mental health charity Mind, one in four adults in the UK feels anxious about social gatherings during the festive period, with nearly a fifth of people (19%) feigning sickness to get out of their company's annual Christmas do.

In fact, feeling anxious about socialising is completely normal and partly down to evolution, says life coach Karen Liebenguth (greenspacecoaching.com). 'We are biologically designed to care about what people think of us because people who were liked, admired and popular would have been more effective gene propagators,' she explains. 'People's opinions of us had a direct impact on our survival - a feeling that we've evolved with and can feel acutely in social events today.

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