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How do we deal with historical abuse?

My 29-year-old daughter disclosed when she was 18 that she was abused by our nephew when she was five and he was 12. My husband says he was a boy experimenting and she should forget about it, while I can’t bring myself to attend gatherings when he will be there. She is going to counselling but should we do more?

SUZIE SAYS

Two children of the same age with equal say is experimenting. A 12-year-old and a five-year-old is sexual abuse - your husband needs to understand that and should apologise. Counselling will help but I'd also write to your nephew. If he won’t accept what he did was damaging and apologise, maybe take it further: he could still be a risk to children. The National Association for People Abused in Childhood (napac.org.uk, 0808 801 0331) can help you all.

He left due to my bad mood swings