OUTLAST

A lifelong nightmare I literally won't outlast.

- Kara Phillips

Horror games were never part of my repertoire when I was growing up. I just get scared way too easily. I always have done really. I used to have nightmares after watching Jumanji, and I once screamed so much at the Weeping Angel episode of Doctor Who that my mum banned me from watching it for two months. Because of this, horror was an instant write-off for most of my childhood. But when you've suddenly got a laptop that can just about handle gaming rather than relying on the family PC, and you have the confidence that you've become that little bit braver now you're a teenager, horror feels a lot less intimidating. That's until you're driving up to Mount Massive Asylum, camcorder in hand, and suddenly it clicks why horror was advised against.

The first time I played Outlast, I felt I had to keep it a secret. Not only was I going against being told I wasn't allowed to play horror games, but it's not exactly a gentle introduction to the genre. Between hallways streaked with bodies and blood, and some of the most perverted dialogue I've ever experienced in my many years of gaming, it wasn't something I felt proud to share. Safe to say It took me much longer than it needed to make my way around the asylum and roll the credits, but I was left pretty scarred from what I'd just experienced.

After I finally escaped, I vowed to leave Outlast be and let it fester in a corner of the internet I wouldn't touch for a while. And fester it did. Each time I thought to myself I was ready to face that level of fear again, I was reminded of the rotting smell of Outlast. I missed it, in its own twisted way, but it would take a lot more than memories to bring me back to that place. By a lot more, I mean about a decade.

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