Holding Close Without Holding On

NEGIN KHORASANI shares her thoughts on loving in relationships, and the importance of letting go of expectations, attachments, and possessiveness; holding close without holding on.

- NEGIN KHORASANI

Have you ever noticed how even our most loving relationships can feel overwhelming? While they bring deep nourishment, we often find ourselves needing space and time to recover from their intensity. No matter how much we connect with those we cherish—our parents, siblings, close friends—it can sometimes feel as though their expectations never end. The more we give, the more is expected.

I’ve come to understand that this is because, with every sweet connection, we fuel the fire of craving more. Instead of love flowing freely, it can turn into attachment—a bond that drains rather than uplifts.

The hidden weight of attachment

Attachment is like an invisible cord that ties us to others, keeping them in our mental space whether they are near or far. If a loved one is struggling, we carry their pain as our own. If they are sick, we feel their sickness in our hearts. Even if our own life is in balance, we cannot fully experience peace because their troubles weigh on us.

We often hear mothers say, “I worry about my child because I love them.” But is this love, or is it attachment? True love does not burden—it liberates.