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Date Everything!

Edge UK

|

September 2025

Perhaps this is what Marx meant when he talked about the commodity fetish. Date Everything is a game in which you more or less do as the title says. A mysterious benefactor grants you glasses that transform every object in your house, from the microwave to the smoke alarm, into a sort of human being. Then you get to know them and influence them to like, love or hate you. There is an overarching plot, detailing the motives of your benefactor, but you'll spend most of your time talking to objects (and solving a few puzzles in the explorable house).

Date Everything!

All the talk means the game lives or dies on the strength of its writing, and unfortunately, more often than not, it dies. Date Everything resides downstream from two trends: visual novels as joke products; and a kind of wholesome horniness, as seen in the likes of Hades. Yet unlike the April Fool’s jokes and brand love-ins that are its obvious ancestors,

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