THE MAGIC OF ASKING "HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?"

This simple question is such a useful addition to your parenting toolkit. It helps you stay more connected to your child, while deepening their emotional awareness.

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Parenting is full of moments that shape how children understand themselves and the world around them. While guiding them through life's ups and downs, one of the most powerful tools you can use is the simple question “How did that make you feel?” These six words invite kids to explore their emotions and have a go at articulating their experiences - which will develop their confidence to express themselves.

By asking this question, you're helping your child build up their understanding of emotional intelligence, their problem-solving skills and their sense of security in the relationship between you. Whether they're facing a tricky situation at school, navigating the ups and downs of friendships or celebrating an achievement, this question encourages kids to reflect on their feelings and learn from their experiences.

BUILDING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Understanding and managing emotions is a central life skill. Asking “How did that make you feel?” encourages children to pause and consider their emotional response to a situation, rather than reacting impulsively. Over time, this practice helps them recognise patterns in their feelings, allowing them to handle challenges with greater awareness.

For example, if your child has an argument with their brother or sister, rather than immediately offering a solution, try asking, “How did that make you feel?” This simple shift allows them to name their emotions and process them in a healthy way. The old adage “A burden shared is a burden halved” also comes into play here. Sometimes when kids have an opportunity to get something off their chest, it actually diffuses the situation hugely! When children regularly reflect on their feelings, they develop emotional resilience, and this is certain to serve them well in adulthood.