The hidden costs of emotional labour in dating

THE expectation in a relationship is that you are equals, but instead of being an equal partner, you've become a one-person support system.

- VUYILE MADWANTSI

You're managing your partner's stress, decoding his moods and shouldering his emotional baggage, all while juggling your own life.

There's nothing wrong with this; you're in a relationship, but it shouldn't be a matter of mothering, mentoring or psychoanalysing.

This phenomenon, dubbed “man-keeping” by researchers, reflects a growing emotional imbalance in many heterosexual relationships. And for a lot of women, it’s a dealbreaker.

What is mankeeping?

Coined by Stanford researchers and published in the Psychology of Men and Masculinities journal, mankeeping describes the emotional labour women take on to compensate for shrinking male social networks.

This isn’t about remembering anniversaries or organising date nights. It’s about becoming your partner's emotional anchor.