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Parenting without screens: My struggles, triumphs, and eventual acceptance

The Straits Times

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February 16, 2025

It's hard to follow to the letter the guidelines on screen times for children. But they do set a good direction for parents.

- Elisha Tushara

Parenting without screens: My struggles, triumphs, and eventual acceptance

The parenting battle plan was simple - two days, no screens.

Inspired by the Ministry of Health's new screen use guidelines for children, I resolved to go beyond them over the recent Chinese New Year holiday.

The guidelines recommended no screen time during meals, only an hour a day for my daughter who is 2 1/2 years old, and no more than two hours for my son, nine, who is in Primary 4.

I challenged myself: Could I keep my children totally screen-free?

Even before the guidelines were updated, I felt that I was already quite strict over screen use at home, as my children have to ask for permission to watch TV, and they get told "no" a lot.

Having seen the harms of excessive smartphone and social media use as a former secondary school teacher, I was not going to give my kids smartphones until they were at least 13 years old, and would restrict their access to social media until they were 16.

Armed with knowledge about excessive device use and a dose of optimism, I decided that my children would spend two days free from digital distractions.

Normally, with my son, we use a timetable displayed clearly on the refrigerator and in his room, so that he knows when he is allowed screen time.

It is structured around a work-reward system. He finishes his schoolwork, revision and reading, then he gets to use the iPad (only during weekends) or watch TV.

But this time, I wanted to see if we could break the cycle. No timetables, no screens, just quality time with me.

I had two work-free public holidays with them, and I believed there was a glimmer of possibility that this could be achieved, no matter how ambitious.

I happened to be parenting solo that day, as it was my helper's day off and my husband was out running errands most of the day.

While an unusual situation, it did present the challenge of whether I could do all this single-handedly.

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