Trump and Infantino unite the world

Thank. God. I was getting bored with asking, begging, of the endless petitions and protests.

- George Simms

Fifa has finally announced its own Peace Prize, to be awarded at December's draw for the Donald Trump World Cup, in front of Donald Trump at the Kennedy Center, which will by then likely be renamed the Trump-Kennedy Center, by its new chair, Donald Trump.

The "Fifa Peace Prize - Football Unites the World" will be presented to "individuals who, through their unwavering commitment and their special actions, have helped to unite people all over the world in peace".

World football's top officials generously announced it would be "bestowed on behalf of all football-loving people from all around the world", apparently speaking for, by their calculations, "more than five billion" people, a figure extracted from the same crevice as its prize.