Gregarious antlion

I have an awful feeling that I'm growing up. Something to do with an itchy feeling around what most insects would call the bum, though in point of fact I'm perfectly bumless myself.

- As told to Simon Barnes

That's just one of the many fascinating things about me. I don't want to be a grownup and fly: I want to stay a larva and the terror of the savannah.

Monday

I've been carrying out essential maintenance of my pit. It's there beneath the winterthorn, an inverted cone lined with slithering, trickling sand. I made it by crawling backwards, using my (bumless) back end like a plough. The trick is to find the critical angle of repose: as steep as it can possibly be without falling in on itself.

Tuesday