UNDERSTANDING CHILDHOOD LIES: ESSENTIAL INSIGHTS EVERY PARENT MUST KNOW

LYING is one of those tricky parenting challenges most families face at some point.

- VUYILE MADWANTSI

It is perfectly normal to worry if your child comes home and insists they finished their homework when you know they didn’t, or when your teenager swears they were “just at a friends house” and the story doesn't add up.

But take comfort in knowing you are not alone in facing these issues; most parents encounter similar situations. It can leave you wondering: Is this just normal childhood behaviour, or something I should be worried about?

he truth is, lying is a natural part of child development. Research published in Child Development shows that most children start experimenting with lies around ages three to four, as their imagination, self-control, and social awareness grow.

Far from being a sign of moral failure, lying shows that children are beginning to understand that their thoughts and actions can differ from what others know.

As children grow, the nature of their lies also evolves. Younger children might lie to avoid trouble or test boundaries, while older children, especially teenagers, might lie to assert independence or navigate complex social dynamics.

The way parents respond, however, can shape whether lying becomes a passing phase or a habit.

Why kids lie

According to the Child Mind Institute, children lie for more reasons than just “getting out of trouble.” Some of the most common include:

@ To test boundaries. Young kids often lie simply because they've discovered the concept. It’s like experimenting: What happens if I say this instead of that?