How can I tell if I am lonely? What are the signs?

Without even realising it, your world sometimes gradually gets smaller: less walking, fewer days in the office, cancelling on friends.

- BY MARLEE BOWER

Watching plans disintegrate on the chat as friends struggle to settle on a date or place for a catch-up.

You might start to feel a bit flat or disconnected. Subtle changes in habit and mood take hold. Could you be ... lonely?

It’s not a label many of us identify with easily, especially if you know you’ve got friends, or are in a happy relationship.

But loneliness can happen to us all from time to time — and identifying it is the first step to fixing it.

So, what is loneliness? Loneliness is the distress we feel when our relationships don’t meet our needs — in quality or quantity.

It’s not the same as being objectively alone (otherwise known as “social isolation”).

You can feel deeply lonely even while surrounded by friends, or totally content on your own.

Loneliness is subjective; many people don’t realise they’re lonely until the feeling becomes persistent.

What are some of the signs to look for?

You may feel a physical coldness, emptiness or hollowness (I've heard it described as feeling like you are missing an organ). Some research shows social pain is experienced similarly in the brain to physical pain.

• Behavioural signs may include:

• changes in routine

• trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep

• changed appetite (maybe you're eating more or less than you normally would, or have less variety in your diet)