Playing hard to get...

China has said it will remove Guilingji, a traditional medicine containing bits of pangolin, from its official 2025 pharmacopoeia.

- BEN TROVATO CUT&RUN

I don't know what a pharmacopoeia is, but I imagine it's some kind of menu.

I don't know what a pangolin is, either. Sure, I've seen photos of scaly brutes that people claim are pangolins, but I have never seen one with my own eyes.

I only trust things that I can see, touch and taste. Beer, for instance. The Chinese should stick to that instead of fannying about with pangolins. I'm looking at a photo of a so-called pangolin right now. It's like a mutant mongoose covered in plectrums. Apparently they are one of the most trafficked animals in the world.

Who's behind this? Guitarists? Also, Fox News says a pangolin sneezed into someone's mouth and gave us Covid.

Bass players and pangolins, man. Can't trust 'em. Pangolins are, like me, nocturnal, solitary beasts. Also like me, they meet females only to mate. If I had a tongue as long as a pangolin's, my conquests might ask me to stick around.

Pangolins raise their young for two years before losing interest and going off to the pub.

I almost certainly have pangolin blood in me.

Guilingji, like the Chinese, has been around for a while. Comrade Ming from the Ming dynasty came up with it while mixing up a hearty broth of sea creatures, bones, meat and anything else that happened to be scurrying, slithering or hopping around at the time.