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Victoria's Highland fling

Scottish Daily Express

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July 31, 2025

HONESTLY, sometimes I wonder why I even bothered going to school.

- Mike Ward

Half the stuff they taught us is now outdated. In geography, for example, entire countries have ceased to exist since my schooldays, with goodness knows how many new ones having popped up in their place (enough to ensure we'll always be outvoted now at Eurovision, put it that way). In English, words have completely changed their meaning. Sick now means great. Bad means good. Literally means not literally. Woke means witless simpleton. And instead of "very" we have to say "super", which is super annoying.

As for Latin, it turns out no one even speaks it any longer, other than if they're picking a name for a plant. When did that happen? Why wasn't I told?

And biology? Don't get me started. Please.

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