The Fabulous Baker Boy

The entertainment industry has been vocally resistant to Artificial Intelligence, believing that unchecked usage will endanger the work of writers and visual artists.

- RAJA SEN

It is ironic, then, that one of the most emphatic arguments in its favour was made at this year's Academy Awards, when Conan O'Brien attempted to speak in Hindi—and sounded far worse than Siri ever did. O'Brien, 61, has always been an atypical and freewheeling talk show host, but he handled the biggest stage in unmemorable fashion. The 97th annual Academy Awards (streaming in India on JioHotstar) were a lacklustre affair, better read about than watched live.

I love award show pageantry. A couple of weeks ago Kristen Bell killed it while hosting The Screen Actors Guild Awards (Netflix) and a couple of weeks before that, David Tennant brought the house down with the British Academy Film Awards. Compared to those clever, witty shows—and efficiently timed ones, coming in at just over 2 hours—the Oscars, weighing in at nearly 4 hours, were an interminable drag. Also, the 50th anniversary special of Saturday Night Live in February actually featured the one thing the Oscars may currently be missing most: Jack Nicholson in the front row, wearing sunglasses and a grin.

The Oscars are supposed to be the most glamorous night in cinema. Where, then, are the A-listers, sitting in the front rows joshing affably with the host? Where are Brad Pitt and Margot Robbie, Meryl Streep and Leonardo DiCaprio? Where is George Clooney, turning on that effervescent charm? Are we truly running out of movie stars? Where on earth is The Rock when we need someone larger than life? (Please tell me he isn't already putting together an inevitable campaign to run for President.)