Raising Fedi

A mother's reflection on autism, adulthood, and learning to measure success differently

- JANE KINGSU-CHENG

BY HIS SIDE Fedi brushing up on his baking and cooking skills with mom Chrissy

Like many young mothers, Christine “Chrissy” Roa relied on regular checkups to guide her in raising her firstborn, Frederic, fondly called Fedi.

At 1.2 years old, during a routine visit, their doctor went through a developmental checklist in detail. “At the end of it, hardly any of the boxes were ticked positive,” Chrissy recalls.

After a series of tests, Fedi was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified. Later, at three and a half years old, autism spectrum disorder was confirmed.

“The developmental pediatrician’s words resounded loudly: ‘Your son is autistic and he will never be normal.’ All my dreams and ambitions for my precious child went down the drain.”

Chrissy admits she cried and went into depression. “But I soon realize that if I were helpless and hopeless, what state would my son be in?” At one point, she imagined a future where her son would be institutionalized and abandoned. That vision became her turning point. “My son needed a mother who is sane and would support him 101 percent selflessly.”

All about recalibration

DIFFERENT, NOT LESS Fedi with his younger brother Francis, dad Rico, and mom Chrissy; (inset) Young Fedi at the launch of 'Federic's Flight' book