How do we deal with mental burnout?

What research tells us about being successful without fear

- DR. KAYCEE REYES

There is a moment in every leader’s week that nobody puts on a résumé: The meeting where you said something slightly dismissive, or the decision you made too quickly because sitting with uncertainty felt unbearable.

We rarely talk about these moments because we have been taught that leadership is about having answers. The research says otherwise, and the findings are worth listening to.

Brené Brown, a University of Houston professor who has spent decades studying courage and vulnerability, recently described a finding that upends how most of us think about brave leadership. After taking 150,000 leaders across 45 countries through her Dare to Lead program, she expected to find that fear was the enemy of courage. It wasn’t. A Fortune 30 CEO told her plainly that he goes to bed afraid and wakes up afraid—and he was one of the bravest leaders she had met. The thing that gets in the way of daring leadership, she concluded, is not fear; it’s armor.

Armor is whatever we reach for to protect ourselves when we are scared. For some of us, it is perfectionism. For others, it is being the smartest person in the room, or making fast decisions so we never have to sit in uncertainty. Brené calls this last one out on her own. Her coach once told her she was using decisiveness as armor, making quick calls not because she was being discerning, but because she was uncomfortable not knowing.