Behind the scenes

WE LOOKED PINTEREST-PERFECT, BUT WE WERE FALLING APART

- JAMIE MURNANE

WHEN MY wife and I appeared on “House Hunters Renovation,” our onscreen lives looked perfect as our home was rebuilt. But off-screen, our family was falling apart. Although we transformed the kitchen with imported tiles and a French range plucked from our shared Pinterest board, viewers had no idea we were foster parents struggling to keep our marriage intact.

We all know that reality TV isn’t quite real. It thrives on exaggeration and half-truths. Over two months of filming in Atwater Village and Silver Lake, we were portrayed as a carefree, childless couple. In reality, we were a family of four, beginning the uncertain process of adopting the young brothers we'd fostered for almost a year. Two moms and two boys — “Even Stevens,” the boys liked to say.

Although social workers assured us our family would be permanent, the boys couldn't appear on screen due to privacy rules. After saying goodbye to a baby we fostered the year before, we didn’t even mention them, in case things changed.

Onscreen, Mary and I enjoyed wine with friends, working out and walking our dogs—a narrative pieced together from one tightly scheduled day of filming. While we staged home improvement scenes and appeared concerned about appliances, real life was more dramatic than the show's “Where's your closet?” moments.

The boys grew increasingly anxious as relatives they hadn't seen since infancy expressed interest in guardianship. We acted as if we believed the idea was good for them — maybe it was. They had just begun calling us their moms, clinging to us as we facilitated visits with the relatives to ease a possible transition, not for us, but for them.