Sickening to watch self-obsessed Trump try and piggyback on Irish hero's success

Rory’s relatability, the nerve-shredding and exhausting passage to glory he inevitably pursues, the dimensions of his fortitude and decency, his charisma and inexhaustible brilawe-inspiring and beautiful.

- ROY CURTIS

As with the Strait of Hormuz or Greenland or Venezuela, Donald Trump looked on covetously.

His first thought was how he could pollute a pristine moment by stampeding into the narrative.

Rory was just another country for him to invade, a green jacket for a green-eyed monster to thieve.

As with insulin pumped into the bloodstream of a diabetic, Trump's hypoglycaemic ego requires constant injections of heavy-duty flattery to prevent the glucose levels of his insanity from spinning out of control.

Only this week, it was revealed that the man with the fate of the planet in his hands drinks diet soda because he believes it kills cancer cells. Who needs chemo when a slurp of Fanta or Diet Coke will do the trick?

But then, the evidence of Trump's cognitive decline was apparent as far back as Covid times when he advocated a shot of bleach as a means of conquering the virus.

With a fondness for pondering some imagined glories in his pedigree, propelled by a lascivious need to be at the centre of every photograph, Trump barges into moments of sporting history as he does wars.

ELUSIVE

Clumsily. Ignorantly. And with self-serving, loudhailer proclamations.