Surviving a golfer's WhatsApp group

IF YOU THINK golf is difficult, try surviving a golfer's WhatsApp group. No, seriously. Everyone thinks the hardest part of golf is getting out of a deep bunker or holing that four-footer that suddenly looks like Augusta's 18th green.

- Rahil Gangjee

IF YOU THINK golf is difficult, try surviving a golfer's WhatsApp group. No, seriously. Everyone thinks the hardest part of golf is getting out of a deep bunker or holing that four-footer that suddenly looks like Augusta's 18th green. But trust me—those are child's play compared to the emotional, psychological, and spiritual trauma of being part of a group chat with golfers. I've been in plenty. Club groups, weekend buddies groups, "elite invite-only" groups (where everyone invites everyone anyway), and even family golf groups where uncles send "Good Morning" flowers at 5.30 am. They're all the same: chaotic, unfiltered, and proof that golfers should spend more time practicing and less time typing. Let me break down the characters, the dramas, and most importantly, the survival guide.

The tee-time wars: Every group starts with one noble soul posting: "Who's playing tomorrow?"

What follows is a meltdown that makes Indian traffic look organised.

Player A: "6.30 works best for me."

Player B: "Not possible. It's dark. 7.15 please."

Player C: "Any time, I'm flexible." (translation: I'll agree to whatever time you book, then cancel at 11.59 pm tonight).

Player D: "Boys, make it 9 am. I need my beauty sleep."

The Secretary: "9 am? You'll never get a slot. Only 6.45 is available."

Player D: "Then I'm out. Sad."

At this point, 87 messages have been exchanged. Not a single booking made. And somehow, by next morning, five people just turn up miraculously at 6.45, all claiming, "I thought you booked."

Survival tip #1: Never volunteer to book tee times. You'll end up as the designated punching bag of the group. Also, golfers have the memory of goldfish—they'll blame you for tee times you didn't even book.