I used to plan my funeral weekly, now I'm 17 years sober and never happier

I ’M not being funny… but it’s my birthday! Well, sort of. Seventeen years ago today I received a new lease of life. For anyone on the 10th day of Dry January finding it a challenge, well today is what we call my clean-time birthday, almost two decades of no drink or drugs and I’ve never felt better.

- Fat Tony

 Don’t see this month as a loss, just see it as a plus, don’t look at the cons, just look at the pros. Being sober is a key to happiness.

Back in 2007, I was going through the darkest time of my life. After 28 years of abusing drink and drugs, I had reached the point of no return. Or at least so I’d thought. Planning my own funeral was a weekly occurrence; I even knew what song I wanted playing at my funeral — No More Drama by Mary J Blige. Hell, I would change the guestlist every week depending on who I had and hadn’t argued with.

I had completely given up. I brought my ex-boyfriend to the point of despair. You name it, I’d done it — lie, cheat, steal from him. Those of you who have read my memoir will know quite how dark it had gotten. I’m not sure I’ll be able to go into too much detail here but let’s just assume that once I’d reached the point of pulling my teeth out with a screwdriver due to paranoia, that I was in pretty bad shape. Then I had what people in the sober community call the “god-given moment”. This doesn’t have to be taken in the literal sense, it was a moment of enlightenment that saved my life.