I have a spreadsheet to rank my friends

Lose one point if you have a baby, gain one for 'unusualness'. Assigning a points system to friendships isn't brutal,  it's pragmatic, says Flora Gill. People use data to track their finances and career success - why not their mates?

- Flora Gill

IT'S a Thursday night, I'm two glasses of wine down and my boyfriend and I are engaging in our favourite activity - ranking and rating our friends. This is not some relaxed game for pleasure, it's serious business, like a tax return but with far more judgment, and until now we've kept it under wraps. Because I'm aware how it makes us look: insane, maniacal, unhinged. The kind of people who keep their baby teeth in an ornate box, or organise their bookshelves by colour. While I'm not denying I deserve to sit in that category I am willing to bet I will convert some of you to create your own model by the end of this piece.

First, a caveat. If you know me in real life, don't ask me your score. In fact, please pretend you haven't read this article. Because if you ask me, I'm going to say you are a 10- that's right, you and i alone sit at the top of the table. I will be lying, you will know I am lying and it's just going to get uncomfortable.

Before you judge me, examine your own life and the amount of planning and data that goes into it. Your life is meticulously organised with a calendar, your success at work is measured by evidence, and when you book a holiday, will you randomly select a hotel, or will you do some research first?

In fact, will you purchase anything without looking at how strangers rated it online? Even our love lives aren't immune, with many people finding partners through apps that work on algorithms. Why, when we let data and numbers impact every part of our lives, do we not use the same model for the most important parts of our private lives?

Shasta Nelson describes herself as a "friendship expert" and is the author of Frientimacy: How to deepen friendships, for lifelong health and happiness. "I'm a big fan of regularly assessing our relationships. It's important to be clear what our goals are, who we want to prioritise, and what actions we can take to keep us feeling connected."