Rich phoney patriots like Ferdinand only worth our contempt

I'VE just completed my annual tax return which felt like an hour-long digital rectum exam conducted by a doctor with a finger thicker than his fist.

- BRIAN READE

I messed up seven times, was held up for 10 minutes because I kept incorrectly writing nothing (It's £0 and only £0), threw my laptop against the wall once and reached for the whisky bottle at the end when told how much I owe. But then I thought "at least that’s over for another year" and moved on.

What I didn't think, as an increasing number of those who worship at the altar of Mammon are thinking, is "those robbing socialists have taxed me a few quid more just to move sick pensioners out of NHS corridors and keep kids out of poverty so I'm taking my stash abroad".

People like Rio Ferdinand who has packed up his £57million wealth and headed to Dubai and who admitted in a radio interview that one of the biggest reasons for leaving was tax. Which he resents paying in the UK because "things like the health service...are falling apart".