The Friend Who Stopped Showing Up

One of the most interesting things about the fitness industry has very little to do with exercise.

- BY ADRIAN JESUTHASAN

After more than 13 years of training, coaching, and owning a gym, I've seen countless friendships form on gym floors. Some have lasted years. Others have disappeared almost as quickly as they started. And while people often assume that fitness brings people together, I've noticed that it can sometimes quietly pull people apart as well. It usually starts in the best possible way. Two friends decide they're finally going to make a change. They join a gym together, create shared goals, hold each other accountable, and celebrate every small victory. In the early stages, it's exciting. Everything feels new. They're learning together, struggling together, and motivating each other through the difficult first few weeks when most people would normally give up.

For a while, they're inseparable. Then something happens that almost nobody talks about. One person starts progressing faster than the other. Maybe they're able to train more consistently. Maybe they have fewer responsibilities outside the gym. Maybe their nutrition improves faster. Maybe they're simply at a stage in life where fitness becomes easier to prioritise. Whatever the reason, the gap begins to grow.

At first, it's barely noticeable. Then the compliments start arriving. Friends begin commenting on their weight loss. Family members notice the changes. Colleagues ask what they're doing differently. Other gym members start recognising their progress. The attention is deserved. They've worked hard for it. But while one person is receiving encouragement, the other is often experiencing something much more complicated. Comparison.