Now is the winter of our dismal statistics and economic disaster

Things have got decidedly icier on the cold front of our economy, and trust me, no eminent person can fix it

- Bhekisisa Mncube

Ah, Chief Dwasaho! I write as one frozen stiff by the icy breath of our weather, which was worsened not by cold fronts and damaging winds, but by the harsh realities revealed in the new Statistics South Africa reports.

According to the latest figures from Stats SA, in the first quarter of 2025 our GDP grew by a maiden 0.1% - yes, not a typo, not a rounding error, just a whisper of movement above economic rigor mortis. When annualised, that translates into a lukewarm 0.8% year on year.

The only warm patch came courtesy of agriculture, surging 15.8%; clearly, cabbages are doing more heavy lifting than the Cabinet. If agriculture were a currency, I'd wager it has flourished under the recent sunshine of Baas John Steenhuisen's melanin-light leadership - though perhaps all it ever needed was a little brown boost in the soil and the soul.

So, my dearest leader, if our economy was the weather, it would be a bone-chilling fog bank rolling in from all sides with no visibility, no direction, and certainly no sunshine in sight. It is a climate where only those with thick skin and thicker wallets survive.

For the rest of us? It's winter without end, comrade. A cold front of missed opportunities blows through a nation still waiting for the warmth of the fundamental economic reforms promised in 2018, when I was 10kg lighter, with not a strand of grey hair. The need for immediate action is now.

As I dived, nose first, into the frostbitten pages of Stats SA's latest Quarterly Labour Force Survey, I emerged gasping, winded not from the effort, but from the sheer chill of our labour market's trajectory.

The official unemployment rate rose to a bone-cracking 32.9% in the first quarter of 2025. That's 8.2 million South Africans left out in the economic cold, huddled around the dwindling embers of hope, awaiting a job to fall like manna from heaven.