William Hickey

Bringing the gossip since 1933

- By Robert Meakin

REPORTEDLY ready to walk away from ITV due to planned cutbacks next year, Lorraine Kelly's upcoming professional engagement raises eyebrows.

As Princess Diana's preposterous former butler Paul Burrell prepares, controversially, to cash in with another book at the royals' expense more than 20 years after enraging Prince William with his first effort the daytime telly queen, pictured, has been signed up to host his accompanying London stage show at Cadogan Hall next month.

Promoting the night, Burrell, also pictured, grandly claims: 'This isn't gossip. It's the truth as I lived it."

Still time to change your mind, Lorraine!

MAINTAINING an annual tradition, celebrity farmer Jeremy Clarkson triumphantly announces: "If your A-level results are disappointing, don't worry. I got a C and two Us. Here I am today, installing lights for a helicopter landing pad in my garden."