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I was broken but so relieved when I finally got diagnosed
Daily Express
|March 25, 2025
After his MS symptoms were dismissed by doctors for two decades, Londoner Chris Bridges, got answers
My friend looked at my foot as we walked to the cinema. "Have you hurt your leg?" they asked. I tried to sound casual and passed my slight limp off as nothing to worry about, adjusting my gait.
I'd been having these episodes for 19 years - strange spells where it felt like I was wearing a glove and sock that were three sizes too small. Numb areas in my face, nausea and feeling tired. My thoughts were foggy and it was a struggle to think, like I was mildly drunk.
But this was my secret and I'd become good at hiding my symptoms in front of friends and family. I'd learned not to mention it, partly because it was impossible to explain. What could I say? "I'm having one of those months where my brain feels messy, my nose is numb and I'm wearing an invisible glove?"
It sounded embarrassing and weird. Not just weird, but hysterical, like I was making it up. There was a payoff, of course. Having secrets creates barriers and refusing invitations and staying at home to sleep isn't the way to keep friendships.
PUZZLEMENT
I got paranoid that medical staff thought I was hysterical, looking at me in puzzlement and quickly ushering me out of consulting rooms. I felt like I was a time waster.
When it started in 2001 they'd told me that I might have multiple sclerosis. I was horrified. Although I was a nurse, the only people with MS who I'd met were immobile and dependent. My understanding of it was poor. I visualised a bombshell waiting to explode in my life.
I was overjoyed when the brain scan came back clear. In the absence of scar tissue showing MS, I put the episode down to high stress levels.
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