STAN CULLIMORE

The thing that has got me fighting back the tears as I sip my morning brew is a simple lightbulb. Though, to be fair, it didn't start with a lightbulb. It started with a lampshade.

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DON'T know about you, dear reader, but there are times when I actually factually despair for humanity.

If I was the weeping sort, given to outbreaks of moist emotion, I would probably cry tears of incurable sadness into my morning cuppa. Thankfully, I'm not that way inclined. Salty tears would ruin the delicate yet tantalising flavour of the English Breakfast blend I adore so very much. Sigh. English Breakfast blend. Mmm. Best drink of the day. But where was I? Oh, yes. Weeping.

Despite the above, I am sorely tempted to give in to sadness right now. If you are wondering what on earth has got me diving down to the depths of despair, going even lower than the bottom of the biscuit barrel the day before the big food shop, allow me to enlighten you.

It wasn’t the weather, the wall to wall rain of the last few weeks that got me down. Oh, no. It wasn’t the time of year, either. We're too close to spring for seasonal sadness to come on in and take a seat at the table. No. The thing that has got me fighting back the tears as I sip my morning brew, is a single, simple lightbulb. Though, to be fair, it didn’t start with a lightbulb. Not at all. It started with a lampshade.