THE MAN BEHIND THE SMILE

Taylor Srirat's long-hidden struggles with drug addiction inspired him to start a YouTube channel to provide a safe space for others facing similar issues

- STORY: SUWITCHA CHAIYONG

From other people's perspective, Taylor Srirat — who runs the YouTube channel House of TayTay (youtube.com/@Taylorsrirat) — has lived a glamorous life.

At the age of 12, he was sent to a boarding school in the UK. Later, he earned a Bachelor's degree in Industrial Engineering and Operations Research from Columbia University, a prestigious institution in the US.

As a fashion and entertaining enthusiast, he has walked the red carpet at Cannes Film Festival and appeared among A-list celebrities at Paris Fashion Week. However, behind his smile and glamorous image, Taylor had been suffering from drug addiction for many years.

"Since I was a child, my father physically abused me. He disliked me because he believed in fortunetelling. My father was born in the Year of the Pig while I was born in the Year of the Snake and according to a fortuneteller, our Chinese zodiac years did not get along. My mother was occupied with work, duties and responsibilities, so she was not really there much. The abuse and neglect made me believe I was worthless. As a child, I learned that expressing feelings is not safe. I learned to survive by being invisible rather than speaking up," Taylor explained.

"When I returned to Thailand in my early 20s, reality hit me hard. I had tried to make my parents proud of me. Everything I did was an attempt to prove my worth. However, there was no real love in my family. There were only expectations; they did not accept me as who I was because I was a fragile and imperfect queer which was not acceptable for a son.