The beauty of being alone

THERE’S A LOT OF FEAR AROUND spending time alone. Alone time can make people itchy with boredom.

- MEGHAN KEANE

It can carry a stigma (especially if you’re single). Worse, recent articles and studies warn us about the dangers of loneliness—one 2017 study by Julianne Holt- Lunstad at BYU’s Social Connection and Health Lab claims loneliness is as bad as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. In 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy published an advisory all about the epidemic of loneliness in America. It details the genuine risks of chronic loneliness, such as increased rates of anxiety and depression, as well as dementia in older adults.

The message? Loneliness isn’t just bad for you; it’s a killer.

But while it is a serious health problem, what gets lost in these conversations is that not all alone time is the same. There’s chronic loneliness— and there’s solitude. One is a dangerous epidemic. The other is a skill we need to nurture.

What is chronic loneliness? It occurs when there is unhappiness about a lack of companionship or a perceived sense of social isolation. Being physically alone isn’t the only way to feel lonely. A person can feel lonely while a partner is dis respecting them. Or being surrounded by a group of people with whom they feel like an outsider.