Words to Live By

What I've learnt from reading obituaries

- Mary McGreevy

WE AMERICANS ARE voracious consumers of advice, seeking wisdom wherever we can find it: podcasts, books, TED Talks, life coaches, influencers, religion, therapy, Dear Abby, barbers, bartenders, Uber drivers-the list goes on. I'd like to add my personal source for guidance: obituaries.

It turns out, the dead know a thing or two about living. I've been an avid obit reader for decades for the same reason that artist Maira Kalman says she reads them every morning: "Maybe it is a way of trying to figure out, before the day begins, what is important."

Recently, I've begun using my TikTok account, called Tips from Dead People, to share some life lessons I've learned from obituaries. Here are a few favourites:

Success is measured in kindness.

Maureen Brennan-Weaver of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, was accomplished by any standard measure, as a doctor, mother, volunteer. But her obituary comes to life with the tiny details: "Maureen was 6'0" and loved strays of all species. Could outthink any opponent. Was riotously funny and pathologically generous." That last part is the key to knowing her. "If you mentioned a thing you liked, she'd get you 11 when she found them at a great price. When a nephew wished for a plastic microscope, she found him a real one (at a great price) and painstakingly prepared hundreds of slides for his study."

Turns out that qualities like generosity are actually the things that endure, not the job titles or the purchases.

Overcoming obstacles isn't just for superheroes.