"That Reminds Me Of A Joke..."

At a loss for words? Humour you can use anytime, anywhere

- Andy Simmons

Adult's Birthday Party

Obstacle: Someone you love is a year older and isn't happy about it.

Goal: Whether he or she is turning 20 or 100, celebrate the occasion with some good-natured ribbing. Deep down, while you never hear anybody admit it, we all love jokes about getting older. After all, getting older is the objective.

Joke: A man brags to a friend about his new hearing aid. "It's the most expensive one I've ever had-it cost me $3,500!"

His friend asks, "What kind is it?"

The braggart says, "Half past four."

Kid's Birthday Party

Obstacle: An audience of ladies, gentlemen and children of all ages.

Goal: Telling a joke suitable for kidsand one that isn't so cute it makes adults ill.

Joke: A snail was slithering along the street one day when he was attacked by two turtles. Later, the cops asked, "Did you get a good look at the turtles who did this to you?"

"No, it all happened so fast."

Class Reunion

Obstacle: These people have seen you at your worst-braces, zits and gym class. You now have an opportunity to dispel old opinions.

Goal: Clever wordplay gags will mark you as an erudite person of the world and not the dolt who thought the name of the great Greek philosopher was PlayDoh.

Joke: What do you call it when two egotists butt heads?