I Think, Therefore, I Spam...

...has become the way forward for too many e-mail pests. Here's how I deal with them every single day

- Mohan Sivanand

Iought to write “Manage spam”, “Delete forwards” next to the 9 a.m. slot for every single day in my desk diary. But then I don’t write “Brush teeth” next to 6 a.m. either. I automatically start my workday by deleting spam, or at least most of it.

Today, there’s one from young Ayeda in Nigeria. “My name is Ayeda Musa,” she writes, “and I am a girl … and personally became interested in being your friend, and even more, as time goes on we will get to know each other better.”

For me, at age 60, this was like a blast from the past.

“Dear Ayeda,” I wrote. “Where are you, sweetheart? Send me your picture, and I will tell you how old I am.”

And then there was V. Vasudevan. “Please Help!!!” he emailed me recently, “I had to rush off to Spain … and robbers made away with my air ticket, cash and other valuables. I am stranded in a hotel. Please can you loan me $2,000 so that I can settle my bills and book the next flight home? I promise to pay you back.”

Now, that’s money I could easily part with. Why, in November I’d won half a million UK pounds from the ‘Office of British Telecommunication’. I’d also won £5,00,000 from a “BBC 2012 Poverty Alleviation Program.” Another £3,65,000 from Coca-Cola. And just nine hours ago, I learnt as I write this, yet another “half a million UK pounds from Coca-Cola.”