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It's time to cut TOXIC FRIENDS

Woman One Shot UK

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Issue 313

Culling a friendship can feel brutal, so how do you know when to part ways with pals who aren't good for you?

Does your friend put you down, hit on your husband, or ask for one too many favours without ever being there for you? Or perhaps it's more subtle than that - she drains your energy as she talks to you about what's going on in her life, or simply leaves you feeling uncomfortable after time spent together. Sounds familiar? Then it's time to do something about it. Here's what you need to know.

Friendships are not for life

There are some common signs that a friendship has turned toxic, but we may be reluctant to either admit they're there, or act on them. And that's often because we're brought up with the belief that friendships should be for life.

'That's simply not realistic,' says psychologist Dr Meg Arroll. 'And it places a lot of pressure on us. You don't need to stay friends with someone just because you were at school together or had your first babies around the same time.'

Circumstances change, people change - and we shouldn't be worried about recognising that and dealing with it.

Feeling bad?

Don't feel guilty for cutting toxic friends out of your life, because you'll be making room for people more deserving of your friendship.

'Research shows that we only feasibly have room in our lives at any one time for five close relationships,' says Dr Arroll. 'So holding on to a toxic friend doesn't leave room for someone else who could really nurture your life and bring a sense of flourishing.'

Why it matters

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