Chasing Pleasure in Portugal

Called across the sea, a consummate host considers her true calling

- MOLLY MARTIN

You probably know a woman (or more likely, several) who can’t relax when you invite them over—they are always offering to bring something,to help serve or wash dishes. They can’t sit too long, uncomfortable without a task. These women have internalized the notion that this is simply what it means to be an acceptable guest or member of society: to make sure our presence is not a burden, to earn or justify our enjoyment. I am often this woman—much more often than I’d like. As the founder of a culinary event company in Nashville, Juniper Green, I am usually on the side of hosting, helping to orchestrate beautiful moments in other people’s lives. Under the right circumstances, it actually brings me enormous joy and a sense of purpose.

In the best cases, I can follow my intuition, gain the trust of my clients and their guests, and help create what one of my touchstones in this industry, Priya Parker, calls “a temporary alternative world.” Whether personally or professionally, I never feel more accomplished as a host than when I can coax a guest into relaxing into themselves, feeling present in their bodies, and allowing me to pour into them. I watch their shoulders loosen, their smile widen, their eyes close when they take a bite of something delicious.