Your Right to Come Last

Women's orgasms have been considered 'just foreplay' for far too long. We are campaigning for a new sexual order: the right to come last!

- Marian Bull and Beejoli Shah

We have been trained in the trenches of love and war to demand that we get ours first. Maybe that's from oral, your partner's fingers, or one of you using a massager on you before or during intercourse (all very good things, we can't deny). Your friends enthuse about this prevailing tactic at boozy Sunday brunches, and women bond over it at parties. Having your orgasm first has become the bedroom rallying cry of empowered women everywhere. 'He doesn't get to come until you do first!' And all that is valid! But we are here to argue one very important fact: coming last can be awesome, too.

Think about how you feel after an orgasm: satisfied, warm, tingly, and drowsy. Sex is tiring! And quickly getting back in the game is fun...but so is falling onto your pillow in satisfied exhaustion, knowing there’s no obligation to move a muscle in the afterglow... your 200-thread counts brushing against you like the world’s finest silks, while you relish the tingling of your nerve endings.

Coming last is a rightmost men enjoy without question, and one that women often ignore—or worse, don’t realize they are entitled to. But if female orgasms are just a stop on the way to the destination—something to get out of the way during foreplay—are we viewing them as a priority or just a layover?