COPS, CATASTROPHES 2 CHAOS

A COP'S MASALA MEMOIR OF MADNESS

- DR. K. JAYANTH MURALI, IPS (R)

In the bustling heart of India, where chai simmers on every corner and the air vibrates with a symphony of honking horns and haggling vendors, lies a world beyond the typical cop show. Here, amidst the chaos and colour, thrives a breed of law enforcers unlike any other the Indian police. Their days are not a monotonous montage of doughnut-chomping and criminal cases. No, these officers tango with the absurd, chasing after mysteries that would leave Sherlock Holmes scratching his head and guffawing into his pipe.

Prepare yourselves, for this April's insane whimsical voyage into interesting episodes from different parts of India during the annals of my police career, a treasure trove overflowing with tales that will leave you snorting laughter louder than a startled elephant.

Our first port of call? The Case of the Missing Wife on a Bike is a caper worthy of a slapstick Charlie Chaplin film. If you will, imagine Senior Inspector Vyankat Patil, a man whose moustache holds the wisdom of a thousand chai breaks, confronted by a frantic husband with eyes more comprehensive than a Bollywood hero's. This distraught fellow claimed his wife had vanished into thin air, snatched away like a magician's rabbit, whilst riding his trusty steed (or so he thought).

Now, Inspector Patil, bless his soul,. is a man of many talents. Deduction, however, was not always at the top of the list. After much detective work that would have left Inspector Clouseau green with envy, the truth, as always, proved stranger than fiction. The missing wife? I had never even mounted the motorbike! Our protagonist had forgotten entirely about his better half in his haste to zoom off on some imaginary errand. Can you picture the collective facepalm that rippled through the police station? The absurdity was enough to make even the most hardened criminal crack a smile.