Here to help - Let counsellor Keren lighten your load

I lost both my parents to COVID-19

- Keren Smedley

Q In January, my parents, who were in their 90s, both died. They were living at home with a carer who gave them COVID-19. I know it wasn’t her fault but I’m really angry and feel the only thing that would make it better would be for her to apologise to us for killing them. My children say I can’t talk like that but it’s true. Name and address withheld

A I have to say I’m with your children. Killing someone usually has an intention to do so or, in the case of an accident, evidence of lack of attention. I’m sure it was not the carer’s wish to intentionally harm your parents. I’m also sure the carer is feeling very sad about it. I’m sure they’ll have done all they could to have avoided being ill and bringing it into your parents’ home. The variant at that time was very virulent. Anger is part of the grieving process, but you may be focusing your anger in the wrong direction. If you feel you’re stuck in this phase, I’d recommend you talk to a counsellor. It’s hard to lose both parents at once so it’s not surprising you’re struggling with this.

My daughter has cut us off