Should We Always Forgive And Forget?

Reconciling with a relative before it’s ‘too late’ can help some people let go of guilt and regret. But not everyone feels the same

- Kara O'neill

Whether it’s a parent, child or sibling, most families will have experience of what it’s like when not everyone gets along. But, while an argument can drag on for weeks, months or even years, it’s only when someone passes away and the chance of reconciliation has finally disappeared that it can really hit home.

Singer Adele reportedly did not make peace with her father Mark Evans before he died earlier this month at the age of 57. Mark walked out on his family when Adele was three, and had been quoted as saying his drinking made him a ‘rotten father’ during her childhood. Though the pair supposedly made efforts to make up over the years, as Adele’s stardom grew, their relationship was said to have become irreparable.

In 2013, Mark announced he had bowel cancer and feared he’d never meet his grandson Angelo, now eight, if the disease was to claim his life.

It’s not clear exactly what happened between Adele and her dad – and, ultimately, it was her decision whether to reconcile or stay estranged. But unresolved conflicts can be difficult to process, especially when that person has gone and you’ll never have the opportunity to talk to them again.

Woman talks to one reader who never made amends with her father before he died.

‘I GAVE HIM MORE CHANCES THAN HE DESERVED’