Kindness and Vulnerability

DONNA CAMERON explores the beauty that vulnerability brings and its connection with kindness. She also shares her own personal experience of vulnerability and how it has changed her life for the better.

- DONNA CAMERO

A gift is like a seed; it is not an impressive thing. It is what can grow from the seed that is impressive. If we wait until our seed becomes a tree before we offer it, we will wait and wait, and the seed will die from lack of planting. … The miracle is not just the gift; the miracle is in the offering, for if we do not offer, who will? —WAYNE MULLER

In high-tech parlance, vulnerability refers to a weakness or flaw that allows an attacker to access a computer without the owner’s permission. In human terms, vulnerability describes our susceptibility to being wounded or injured, and also the state of being exposed – to danger, illness, or criticism. For many of us, vulnerability implies weakness. It is something to be avoided.

But is it? Vulnerability may be our way of opening ourselves to the world, and trusting that it is not against us. It may be our way of embracing mystery and not pushing the unknown or the unseen away from us. It may be the truest way of saying “yes” to our lives.

In a relationship, we may be vulnerable when we are first to say “I love you,” or when we admit we don’t know something, or that we need help. Our comfort and security are threatened by the “power” we believe we have given the other person. Will he say he loves me back? Will she take advantage of my weakness if I ask for help? Yes, those fears are real. But another way to look at them is to recognize the strength they reveal and to take ownership of that strength. There is no shame in loving, even if the other person doesn’t love me back. There is no shame in asking for help, even if it isn’t given. The weakness is in burying our feelings or denying our need.