Cultist simulator

Badgering the occult via a game of cards

- Philippa Warr

In positive Cultist Simulator news, I am no longer under investigation by the authorities. In less positive news, this is because I created a distraction by sacrificing the only believer in my cult. I could have tried a bribe but I was in the mood to throw someone under the Lovecraftian card game bus. Sorry about that, Dorothy.

The Dorothy distraction leaves me free to continue poking the occult right in its eye. I possess oodles of money, I can translate German and Latin texts, I own a wodge of menacing-sounding secrets and I head up two cults. My resource engine is purring nicely, but I’m definitely approaching some of the limits of Cultist Simulator’s early access Scholar’s Build. Also neither of my cults now have any followers.

Cultist Simulator is the first project from Weather Factory, the new studio comprising Failbetter founder Alexis Kennedy and Failbetter alumnus Lottie Bevan. It takes the form of a narrative card game where you combine and reposition cards in order to unlock new story options. 

You start off with basic ingredients – cards and action timers spread out across a digital surface. They vary depending on the character you pick and when you trigger particular actions but you’ll always have the bare bones of a resource engine. 

Starting as a physician, I had two Funds cards, one Health, one Reason and one Passion. In order to grow my deck and create the story, I started clicking on the actions and plugging cards into slots.

Putting a Passion card in the work slot meant my character started painting. That proved an unreliable source of income. Putting Health in the work slot resulted in manual labour – reliable funds but with a risk of injury. To keep my character safe I opted to use the Position at the Institute card to drip feed two Funds cards into my possession after a minute had elapsed.