FOOTBALL IS JUST NOT THE SAME

I could get used to this.” Even as the words fell from my mouth I tried to catch them, instantly sickened at this rapid transformation into that most odious of creatures: The Armchair Supporter. After all these years I’ve become my fears, I’ve become the kind of man I’ve always hated.

- Steve Hill

Clearly it’s through no fault of my own, but with horizontal rain lashing the windows, I smugly nestled on the sofa with a brew for Chester’s top-of-the table clash at Gloucester City, spared the journey, the parking, the cold, the expense. I wish I’d been spared the match. I know this is a brave new world and everybody’s trying their best, but for eight quid you’d expect more than glorified security camera footage. Despite these precautions, there was actually a robbery, another sickening last-minute defeat.

But as soon as I switched it off the pain was gone, rapidly evaporating without a three-hour journey to stew on it. I simply moved on to the next brick in this endless wall of sport, and even found myself laughing at the woefully obvious scripting of a late winner from our former striker. You could make it up.