Lessons In Values

What could be more decent, or more country, than chasing children with bloodhounds?

- Michele Hewitson

I can’t think why so many people are so exercised about New Zealand First’s “Respecting New Zealand Values” idea. I not only think it is an excellent idea, but that the idea of chucking people out of the country should they not adhere to New Zealand values ought to be taken further.

We country folk – me and the sheep and the chickens – reckon that people wanting to move to paradise should have to sign up to country values, because what are New Zealand values but country values?

Here in the country, we don’t require any of your fancy city muck – such as chia seeds. A city person sent me a bag of chia seeds. I don’t know what chia seeds are, exactly, or why they are. I do know that not only would the chickens not eat them, neither would the sparrows. Actually, I know what they are: fancy foreign muck. We don’t want chia seed-eating folk here. Send ‘em back to where they came from.