WHAT'S EATING US?

Eating disorders aren't just a young person's problem...

- Susannah Hickling

CAROLINE DRUMMOND SMITH's eating disorder began at age 16 when she went to boarding school. She hated being there. "I felt so out of control, but the one thing I could control was what I ate," recalls the 55-year-old health and wellness coach from near Frome in Somerset. "I focused on sport and decided not to eat."

Over the next 35 years, her anorexia reared its head every time she found herself in a situation she struggled with, like a broken relationship or a skiing accident that meant she couldn't exercise. Terrified of piling on the calories, she would restrict her eating when she got to a certain weight. "I had a lot of rules around food," she explains. "I would eat certain foods at certain times. I could only have carbs, like bread, after eight o'clock at night. It was totally irrational. At times my weight was life-threatening."

She tried therapy and being a day patient at a recovery centre, which helped, but she wasn't ready to get better. It was when she found herself at home with three teenagers during the summer holidays that the anorexia came back with a vengeance. Even her daughter saying, "I'm really scared Mummy's going to die," didn't prompt her to tackle it. It had been with her so long. "Anorexia was my best friend," says Drummond-Smith.

But eventually, she took herself in hand. Recovery, using the tools she'd learned from her previous attempts, took four years but, at the age of 50, she was finally free of anorexia. "In retrospect, I wish I'd had support," Drummond-Smith says. "Although I knew how to do it, it was scary." She now helps other women recover from eating disorders.