Funny People's Funniest Stories

Our grab-bag of jokes, quips, gaffes and gags by laughmakers from around the world

- Siddhant Jumde

Game On!

I was about five or six years old when I first went to watch a cricket match at Eden Gardens in Kolkata with my mom. India was playing the West Indies in a one-day match. During a drinks break, my mom and I came out to go the washroom and get some food.

It was really crowded with what must have been 1,00,000 people in the arena. And as it often happens, my mom and I somehow got separated in this sea of people on our way back. I was hopelessly lost. After about 10 minutes though, she was able to find me. Everything was okay.

Later she told me that she had gone to seek help from a policeman, who was standing on the field watching the game. “My son is lost!” she cried to this officer, panicky and distraught.

The cop didn’t even turn around. “Daaran, daaran,” he said, “Ekhon Lara batting korche! (Wait, wait! Lara is batting right now!)”

—ANIRBAN DASGUPTA

A Household Whodunnit

While living with a flatmate in Mumbai for three years, I learnt that we men are in complete denial when there’s a rat in the house. We will go to any lengths to avoid doing anything about it for as long as possible. I once went into my kitchen and saw a gnawed-on guava on the table. I thought,