We asked New York–based clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Orna Guralnik to help a few navigate some common disputes. “It’s easy to project your anxieties about this time onto your partner,” says Guralnik. “Fighting becomes a way to play out your inner conflict.”
Daniel Stigall & Elyse Lindahl, Brooklyn
Together one month and self-isolating together at Daniel’s apartment.
E: Yesterday I made a Google doc laying out what I need our schedule to look like.
D: But I’m way too lazy to execute on it. I’m reluctant to have this written plan that defines our alone time and recreation time.
E: We need to have our separate alone time. And separate spaces. I need a workspace.
D: She carved out a nook in the corner. Elyse is way more activity-oriented and motivated and undaunted. She doesn’t have a moment of depressed contemplation, and she’s dragging me on runs every day. This document presumes we are not working at all. I’m struggling to adjust to the level of sheer activity. The moments when she goes out, I’m so relieved to be able to put on sweatpants. That’s another rule! No sweatpants before 7 p.m.
E: I follow it.
D: I didn’t follow it yesterday. We’ve had an explicit conversation about how these are not normal circumstances. When this is over, we need to have very evaluative conversations.
E: The beginning parts of a relationship, when you’re still getting to know the other person—
D: Are usually not experienced under duress.
この記事は New York magazine の March 30 - April 12, 2020 版に掲載されています。
7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、8,500 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。
すでに購読者です ? サインイン
この記事は New York magazine の March 30 - April 12, 2020 版に掲載されています。
7 日間の Magzter GOLD 無料トライアルを開始して、何千もの厳選されたプレミアム ストーリー、8,500 以上の雑誌や新聞にアクセスしてください。
すでに購読者です? サインイン
104 MINUTES WITH... Lord Maurice Saatchi
The British advertising executive is thoroughly enjoying the rollout for his new book, Orgasm.
HOW TO CRIMINALIZE a PROTEST
In Atlanta, the George Floyd demonstrations of four years ago are being used as evidence of illegal gang activity-and the activists of today could be next.
More Than Mad
Grief drives a fantastic installment in George Miller's series.
War of Attrition
In the Kendrick-vs.-Drake battle, no one wins.
We've Hit Peak Theater
Nobody knows how to succeed on Broadway anymore.
Small Plates, Big Checks
Why restaurant prices feel so high—and why they’re going to stay that way.
Nobody Wants to Mow the Lawn at the Beach
Breck and Georgia Eisner's Amagansett retreat gives the children a cottage of their own.
CHESS BRAT
It was the biggest cheating scandal in chess history. Now, cleared of the most serious accusations, Hans Niemann is gunning for a world title-and doubling down on his opponent-trashing, hotel-wrecking, money-flaunting ways.
MIRIAM ADELSON'S UNFINISHED BUSINESS
One of Israel's most ardent supporters, she could transform the presidential election if she gives to Trump like she did in 2020.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRIAL
Trump is running for president while bumping into the past at a Manhattan criminal courthouse.