An inside look at the roller-coaster ride of living and loving with borderline personality disorder
IT WAS SATURDAY NIGHT, DATE NIGHT: I WAS 21, and I couldn’t wait to spend time with my new boyfriend, Steve. But when I arrived at his parents’ house, he was still in the basement working on his computer and barely looked up at me when I walked in. “Just a sec,” he said. As I stood there, I began to feel insignificant and stupid for getting so excited when he clearly didn’t feel the same way about me. The panic was overwhelming. I got back into my car and drove laps around the neighbourhood, crying, until he’d sent enough texts apologizing and begging me to come back.
A few days later, I was filled with self-loathing because I couldn’t figure out why I’d reacted so strongly. We’d only been dating for a few months, and I felt like I’d already morphed into the girlfriend from hell. And that wasn’t the last time it would happen. For the next seven years of our relationship, I found myself enacting similar scenarios over and over again. I was on an unending emotional roller-coaster — cheerful and laughing, then raging with anger or mired in sadness. Any time I thought he had let me down in some way or that he didn’t love me enough, I would throw things (a plastic pail at his car, a glass vase of roses in the kitchen), scream, cry and say horrible things. I would push him away with all my force, but what I really wanted was for him to love me and prove that he would never leave.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I was exhibiting classic signs of borderline personality disorder (BPD), the diagnosis I later received from a pair of psychiatrists in 2017, about a year after my relationship with Steve ended. It’s a mental health disorder characterized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) by the presence of at least five out of nine specific symptoms, including:
ãã®èšäºã¯ Best Health ã® June/July 2018 çã«æ²èŒãããŠããŸãã
7 æ¥éã® Magzter GOLD ç¡æãã©ã€ã¢ã«ãéå§ããŠãäœåãã®å³éžããããã¬ãã¢ã ã¹ããŒãªãŒã8,500 以äžã®éèªãæ°èã«ã¢ã¯ã»ã¹ããŠãã ããã
ãã§ã«è³Œèªè ã§ã ?  ãµã€ã³ã€ã³
ãã®èšäºã¯ Best Health ã® June/July 2018 çã«æ²èŒãããŠããŸãã
7 æ¥éã® Magzter GOLD ç¡æãã©ã€ã¢ã«ãéå§ããŠãäœåãã®å³éžããããã¬ãã¢ã ã¹ããŒãªãŒã8,500 以äžã®éèªãæ°èã«ã¢ã¯ã»ã¹ããŠãã ããã
ãã§ã«è³Œèªè ã§ã? ãµã€ã³ã€ã³
Explore One of Europe's Coolest Capitals: Tallinn
AFTER EMERGING FROM the intense heat of the sauna, I ran across a wooden deck and plunged into the brisk Baltic Sea. The cold pierced my skin from the soles of my feet upward, like ice water blanching a steamed vegetable. When I surfaced, my travel companions, who'd just done the same, were laughing so hard they could barely stay afloat.
From Aleppo to Za'atar
A FRESH TAKE ON SUMMER SIDESÂ INSPIRED BY THE FLAVORS OF THE MIDDLE EAST
It Takes a Village
In the canyons of northern Greece, the people of the Zagorohoria are cementing their home as a playground for outdoor enthusiasts. Eleni N. Gage shares their story.
5 WAYS TO BOOST YOUR BRAIN HEALTH
THINK LONG AND HARD ABOUT THESE LIFESTYLE CHANGES
How Struggles MADE HER STRONGER
A NEW BOOK ABOUT THE TELEVISION JOURNALIST'S LIFE REVEALS THE CHALLENGES THAT FUELED HER AMBITION
Secrets, Lies & PASSIONS
THE ACADEMY AWARD-WINNING ACTRESS LED A COMPLICATED LIFE THAT INVITED RUMORS
JOHN TRAVOLTA - Inside His Lonely World
Nearly four years after the death of his beloved wife, Kelly Preston, the actor struggles to move on
HARRY'S HEARTBREAK RUNNING OUT OF TIME
THREE MONTHS AFTER HIS CANCER DIAGNOSIS, KING CHARLES III DECLINES TO SEE HIS ESTRANGED SON. NOW HARRY WORRIES HE'LL NEVER SEE HIS FATHER AGAIN.
Mariska Talks Life On and Off Camera
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit may be wrapping up its 25th I season, but for Mariska Hargitay who's starred as commanding officer Olivia Benson for more than two decades the end is nowhere in sight.
Miranda Supports Country Crossovers
From Beyoncé to Lana Del Rey, some of the biggest women in music are jumping into the country genre. It's a move that 14-time CMA winner Miranda Lambert is on board with.
BROOKE SHIELDS On Marriage Motherhood Feeling Sexy over 50
After a lifetime in Hollywood, the Mother of the Bride star is paving the way for women her age and future generations
EVA & MICK: SECRET AFFAIR!
Did he say, âLetâs Spend the Night Togetherâ?
TOM SELLECK: I NEED AJOB!
WITH BLUE BLOODS SET TO END IN DECEMBER, THE ACTOR HAS CONCERNS ABOUT HIS FUTURE.
TURNING ON ARIANA!
Theyâre jelly! A year after Scandoval broke, sources tell Star the Vanderpump Rules cast has grown resentful of Ariana Madix, the scandalâs actual victim.
VALERIE EXORCISES VAN HALEN'S GHOST!
LOVELORN actress Valerie Bertinelli has finally banished the ghost of her late ex-hubby, Eddie Van Halen by admitting life with him was HELL, insiders dish.
Back to Black
Marisa Abela steps into Amy Winehouse's signature ballet slippers in Back to Black, a powerful biopic about the late singer with soul, directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson.
SELENA DEFENDS BENNY
Donât dis her man! Selena Gomez wonât stand for trolls making fun of Benny Blanco.
KATE'S CANCER CRISIS EXPLODES!
CANCER-PLAGUED Princess Kate's devastating condition is worse than the palace has let on as the royals desperately try to hide the heartbreaking truth, reveal well-placed insiders.
IDLE LOPEZ AIMS FOR IDOL BOOST!
Floundering star needs to showcase her human side
NURSE MURDERED HELPLESS PATIENTS!
Angel of death delivered fatal insulin overdoses
Prevent Gl upset from spoiling your travels
Everything from dehydration to long stretches sitting behind the wheel can trigger Gl upset when we travel. To the rescue: tricks that block constipation, bloating and heartburn on your next road trip or flight
Khloé Opens Up! HEALING AFTER HEARTBREAK
It should've been the happiest time of Khloé Kardashian's life. The reality star, 39, was getting ready to have a baby with boyfriend Tristan Thompson via surrogate.
Foods that fix fat loss
Fed up with diets but still want to hit a healthier weight? Here's an amazing hack to try: Eat 30 different plants a week. Turns out, that's all it takes to radically improve your microbiome, the collection of 100 trillion microbes that call your body home. Current research, including some on identical twins, \"shows that the microbiome plays the biggest role in determining the number on the scale-bigger than carb intake, exercise or even calories,\" says nutrition expert Stephen Perrine, author of The Full-Body Fat Fix. Perrine adds that a 30-plant strategy boosts the microbiome fast, triggering rapid changes in bloat, energy, fat burn and overall health. Florida mom Vicki Sheerin even says increasing the variety of plants she eats was the key that allowed her to drop 227 pounds. Keep reading to learn how to make your own microbiome magic.
"This app cured my insomnia!"
Trouble sleeping night after night left Kathy Dean dragging through her days. She felt hopeless, until discovering her cellphone was the key to unlocking sound, restful sleep
Outsmart 'inflammaging'
We all want to add more years to life-and life to those years. The key: taming chronic inflammation.
REHAB FOR BRITNEY?
It was happening all over again. In the early morning hours of May 2, Britney Spears was photographed outside LAâs Chateau Marmont wearing nothing but pajama shorts and a blanket sheâd wrapped around herself.
IT'S OVER!
After less than two years of marriage, a fed-up Ben Affleck is calling it quits with his fame-addicted wife, Jennifer Lopez
ITALIAN MODEL: I GOT FIRED FOR UPSTAGING KYLIE!
Too hot to handle! âRemember me?â Italian hunk Eugenio Casnighi, who was seen in countless photos and videos assisting Kylie Jenner, 26, at last yearâs Met Gala, asked in a May 4 TikTok.
Why Tom Apologized to Gisele
Gisele BÃŒndchen was the butt of many jokes at Netflix's Roast of Tom Brady on May 5 and she isn't happy about it. \"Gisele is offended and upset.
Their Biggest Supporter
Marcia Gay Harden is proud to be a safe space for her three queer children - Eulala, 25, and 20-year-old twins Hudson and Julitta but she's still getting used to addressing Eulala, who's non-binary, with the proper pronouns.