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A Cautionary Tale About Celebrating With Exes

Cosmopolitan US

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Issue 03, 2023 / May 2023

Columnist Zara Field* gets one step closer to finding what she wants-and what she definitely doesn't.

- By Zara Field

A Cautionary Tale About Celebrating With Exes

THURSDAY, 7 P.M.

Work is absolutely wild right now. One of our department heads, Helga, has enacted a reign of terror and it's making her entire team so inefficient that our leaders keep funneling projects my way. I barely have time to shower, let alone date. But I'm so excited to meet Naomi, the cute engineer I matched with last week, that I block off all of tomorrow evening on my calendar.

Honestly, very few people I knew in college really explored their sexuality then, and now there's a wave of my friends ready to go there. Outside of last year's threesome date with Ethan and Heather, this is my first official dinner-and-drinks situation with a woman. I call my friend Kalani, a newly out and proud bisexual queen, for advice. She can't help but joke: "What if your type is like the woman from The Sex Lives of College Girls who only wants to date herself?"

FRIDAY, 8 P.M.

Naomi is absolutely gorgeous, like a gothic version of Frozen's Elsa-blazing blue eyes, icy-blonde hair, head-to-toe black. Based on her pretty forward text messages and tattoo-to-skin ratio, I expect her to be bold and confident. Except..." Hiii!!!" she says in a singsong voice as she gives me a hug.

After just a few minutes of talking, it's clear that Noami is actually quiet, introverted, and very emotionally young. "Adulting is so hard!" she says as she waffles over what to drink. And what to eat. And what to talk about. Maybe she's super nervous too? At one point, she mentions her family and starts crying. Oh shit. What do I do? I console her. Then we're somehow digging deep into her dream career with me playing the role of professional mentor. As we finally leave the restaurant and linger outside, Naomi bashfully leans in: "I want to kiss you." She is very sweet. "Go for it," I reply hopefully.

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