Why Getting Depressed After Your Wedding Is A Thing

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...a tonne of ugly crying?

- Annie Daly

A couple of weeks after Aahana* got back from her honeymoon, she called her mom in tears. She had just had the most amazing destination wedding in Udaipur, followed by a beachy week of bliss in Bali. She thought she’d be ecstatic. Instead, she felt depressed.

“It was surprisingly hard to settle back into normalcy after being on such a high for so long,” the 33-year-old recalls. “There had been so much build-up, from the bachelorette party to the bridal shower to the constant phone calls with my mom and my wedding planner, and then it was just...over. I felt bored and nostalgic and missed all the excitement. It felt like a whole fun phase of my life had just ended.”

TBH, this kind of ‘wedding comedown’ isn’t rare. In a 2018 study of 152 women, 12 percent reported feeling depressed after they tied the knot.

“The whole process of getting married can be one of the biggest highs in the world, from the proposal to the planning to the party,” says US-based relationship therapist Diana Kirschner, author of Love In 90 Days. “That high can be so intense that when your wedding ends, it can cause a giant and unexpected emotional crash.” That sudden bummed-out mood can also make you feel guilty, like you’re an ungrateful monster for not being a 100 percent psyched about your wonderful celebration, and—oh yeah—your new spouse. (Pause that spiral, girl. It’s gonna be okay.) Understanding why this slump happens to even the most in-love newlyweds might help you figure out how to enjoy the whole ‘Oh, we’re actually married!’ thing. Here are some reasons why you might catch those post-bliss blues—and how you can get over them.

YOU’RE MARRIED—NOW WHAT?