How To Keep Lust Alive

Learn to escape the sexual fade-out that fells many longterm unions. 

- Esther Perel

Sure, plenty of couples start off in a state of unbridled passion. You know: extra-hot, extra-often sex. After all, this is when you’re both willing to do all kinds of things to present your very best side in the bedroom. Sadly, there’s a general rule that after about two years, the physiological changes that accompany passionate love start to diminish. And I actually think that for most people, this unsexy slowdown can happen much sooner. In our culture, we’re so used to instant gratification and always having something new. When you get tired of your phone, for example, you get a new one. You don’t see many people reimagining uses for their dated iPhones. The same ennui can befall romantic partners—gone is the erotic anticipation that used to surround sex. Instead of planning a special date beforehand, you just look at each other like, ‘Wanna do it?’ Or he’ll give you two little shoulder squeezes, cluelessly think that counts as a full-blown back rub, and assume that you’re now ready to get it on. Okay, the bright spot: it is possible to reenergise your relationship and create new sparks. Here’s how:

STAY PLAYFUL